Quebec City

What you need to know: Quebec is the best crowd there is.

That is all.

~RedRum

Toronto! Fuck yea!

Thanks for the awesome reception dudes and dudettes! Was great to be back and see some familiar faces.

This marks the first time Swashbuckle has played with a drummer who isn't Captain Crashride. As you may or may not be aware, Crashride was arrested for mopery (revealing himself to a blind person), thus negating is ability to legally enter Canada. We enlisted the likes of Paul Christian of the central New Jersey experimental metal band We All Have Day Jobs, who from this point forward shall be known as Bootsmann Collins. He killed it in Toronto and will be accompanying Nobeard and myself the rest of the Ensiferum tour.

We are pumped as fuck to play Quebec City tonight. This town was the BEST crowd on last year's North American Paganfest so we are expecting good things. See you all tonight!

Backstage Beer Info
Toronto:

Molson Canadian
Moosehead Lager

St. Paul

So it feels like I was just here. Oh wait... I was, with Heathenfest. Zing! Only this time, it has been brought to my attention that the club has one of my favorite beers on tap - Samuel Adams Cherry Wheat! w00t!

So, watching some football, enjoying some beer. About to sup on tasty chinese and/or pizza. Tonight marks the end of our first stint on the Monsters of Death tour with Vader. We book it home tonight and then meet up with Ensiferum December 1st in Canada.

Crazy Times

So Crashride was not let into Canada. Fuck us. We hauled ass from upstate New York to Detroit to catch our friends in Eluveitie and Alestorm kick some ass on Heathenfest. I ended up ditching my 'Buckle mates for some far more enticing company. I feel very lucky I was able to tag along with Heathenfest for a few days before meeting back up with the Monsters of Death package in Detroit again. Eluveitie puts on one fucking kick ass show. The recent shows have been mediocre at best. No showers, no food, what little beer we have is spread thin amoungst 6 bands and crew. I eagerly await our return to the Ensiferum tour at the beginning of December. Those shows are sure to be ass-whooping.

The show tonight in Addison, IL is actually pretty good. I had some tasty tortellini. Really good presale ticket wise. The much better venue here around Chicago called the Pearl Room closed down apparently, so we were forced to take refuge in this lesser known venue called the Pyramis Club. However, this turned into a fruitful gain as the venue is located directly next door to a great thrift store where Crashride and I plundered many a flannel shirt and mesh hat. Trucker Metal is the future.

Springfield, VA @ Jaxx

You people have no idea what a relief it is to finally play a show with bands whom I can enjoy musically. Tonight marks the first date on Ensiferum's From Afar tour. And fuck hell do I love me some Ensiferum. They are currently in the middle of Lai Lai Hei. A personal favorite. They might as well have perfected organized noise in my opinion. Petri was diggin or stuff heavily. Super stoked about this. Also get to enjoy the company of our old pals Blackguard again. Those crazy Canadians have not changed a bit. Good times. It is very sad to think that I only get another day of this and don't return to their tour until December.

Rolling into Allentown, PA for what may be considered out "hometown" show. Even thought its two hours away from home. Family and friends will pile in in droves.

Backstage Beer Info
Springfield:
Amstel Light

Baltimore, Maryland @ Sonar

This show kinda blows goats. No shower. No backstage. No food. No beer! Have we been spoiled by the might and wonder of European venues? Maybe? Or maybe this place just sucks the longest, girthy dick imaginable.

The only thing I ate today was a cold slice of pizza for breakfast at my house and then half of a sweet onion chicken terriyaki sandwich from Subway. I look forward to the Canadian shows for a bit more hospitality.

Worcester tomorrow @ The Palladium.

Backstage Beer Info:
Baltimore:
Beer? I wish.

~RR

Vienna & Linz

Austria, you have treated the entire Paganfest package with fervent devotion and we all appreciate it. Vienna had a crazy crowd and you treated Swashbuckle with particular admiration. For this, we hail you. Can't wait to come back. It was a rainy a day, so I didn't get a chance to check out the town. I hear there is alot of great history to see, around Mozart's old stomping grounds no less. Our bus call was very late (or early?), at 9 am. Luckily there were two bars close to the venue - one, a killer metal club sporting great 80's hits; the other, a raging reggae hip-hop club. We bounced back and forth between the two. Ever thought Korpiklaani was into reggae? Me neither. Apparently we were all wrong.

The show tonight in Linz is literally a circus. Unleashed is on stage now, and so far on stage we have had a shopping cart gundown, a ninja attack, a roman toga party, the chartoon character Obelix, a pirate dingie row across the backdrop, a "viking longboat", and there are still two more bands to go...

Backstage Beer Info:
Vienna:
Ottakringer

Linz:
Gösser
Salzburger Stiegl
Kaiser Fasstyp

Off to the United Kingdom for a bit 'o tea with the Queen and some needed r. & r.

Cheers
~RedRum

Picture unrelated.

Tour Bus Fire & Innsbuck

I have never found myself in more elegant surroundings prior to today's show in Innsbruck, Austria. The city is almost completely surrounded by the Alps. Every way you look, your eyes are greeted by these massive geologic wonders. Though, I am saddened to think that to the natives, these are just business as usual. I spoke to a few locals and they say they often forget what the horizon looks like. If they ever travel through the central Unites States, I'm sure they'll never forget such drab, static landscapes that exist in places like Tennesee and beyond.

I walked into the city center early with Alestorm and Anders from Unleashed. We were following signs to some sort of Alpine Zoo, but when we realized a cable car trip was necessary, we deserted this plan and had a few beers outside in the town square. The name of the brew escapes me, but trust me, there is nothing like enjoying a good beer accompanied by an ever better view.

Now that I've got all the enchanted hippie nature loving stuff out of the way, I suppose I should also discuss the horrible towering inferno that was our tour bus's engine two nights ago. After the show in Graz, we got on the road and started drinking. Heavily. About a half hour into the long drive to Milan, a couple people downstairs started noticing a fowl stench upon the air. After placing the blame on Anders of Unleashed, we realized (as did the driver) that it was a problem with the bus itself. We veered off into a timely placed gas station, half of us ran out to grab fire extinguishers, and the other half went upstairs to wake the sleeping passengers. I took some really great footage of the event, the only footage of the actual fire before it was doused, but the bus company is complaining that their good name may be tarnished should it be released. I'm not sure why I'm obeying this false authority. Their bus did catch on fucking fire. We rescued every drop of alchohol from that vehicle and got some rooms at a conveniently placed hotel across the street from the gas station. We spent the next day there, confined to the hotel and said gas station. In hindsight, it was great to have a day off, but apparently the crowd in Milan was incredible, and I really wanted to go to Italy. Ahh well, maybe next time.

The show tonight in Innsbruck was great. Nothing really special, but as we are winding down, the bands come closer together on tours like this, which is admirable. The best part was definitely the cliffs, crags, and mesas. This place will be sorely missed.

Backstage Beer Info:
Innsbruck:
Schwechater

Two dates left...
~RedRum

Graz - A Special Post

Today's update will be a guest post by the mighty Chris Bowes, the singer of our piratical brothers in arms, Alestorm:

"Sup dudes? This is badass fuckin' pirate Chris representin' to y'all from the sexy city of Graz in Austria. Actually that shit is a lie. This town blows goats. Apparently the most epic and bodacious governor of California Mr. Sir Lord Arnold of Schwarzenegger comes from here. Not like anyone gives a shit. As far as these dungeon-raping dudes are concerned, that guy is dead to the world. I tried giving a shoutout to that badass mothafucka on stage tonight, but nobody got what I was on about. No biggie. We all still rocked out, especially those badass piratical dudes in Swashbuckle. I was supposed to be dressing up as a shark on stage tonight, but I was caught short while dropping off some chocolate hostages. They hate me forever. Especially Pat, that big fat fucking faggot. But fuck it, I'd bone that dude in his big fatty folds. Yeah baby, you dig that shit.

Yeah, I'm all outta ideas. Time to get wasted on this delicious (read, shitty) Austrian beer. Mmmm.... Puntigamer.

Goodnight, bitches.
Word.
Chris xxx"

Well I totally fell off the blog band wagon...

But it wasn't my fault! Internet has been crap the past 4 days. I'm finally getting a period of respite in which I can update all my social networking thingamajigs. Just so the train of thought hasn't been completely abandoned, post-Pratteln we've seen Illingen, Eindhoven, Stuttgart, and Zlin, in Germany, The Netherlands, Germany, and the Czech Republic respectively.

A basic grading of the shows is exhibited hereunder:
Illingen - Ok
Eindhoven - Great
Stuttgart - Tremendous
Zlin - Buttfuckingly shitty.

and tonight's show in Budapest - Buttfuckingly Awesome.

I suppose the most notable happening that was undertaken was Volksfest, Stuttgart's annual autumnal fair (essentially Oktoberfest). Our good friend Marc Raner of the company Vans for Bands came out to our show in Stuttgart and was kind enough to give me a lift to the festival. I had a towering mug of Fürstenberg, stole the stein, listened to a German cover band perform a not so favorable rendition of "Walking on Sunshine", walked around the carnival rides, then headed back to Paganfest. Good times were had by all.

Backstage Beer Info:
Budapest:
Soproni

The missing cities' beer info is lost to the halls of history. They weren't very good tasting anyway.

We're rounding out this tour with a couple Austria shows and one in Italy.

~RedRum

Pratteln

So we're back in Pratteln, at the venue Z7 where we played the Metal Dayz festival earlier this year. There is a large erotic shop right down the street that we were unable to get to last time, but we had plenty of time today so Stijn and I galavanted off for a while. There we stumbled across a very unique magazine...

This is the first, and only venue on this tour with a washing machine and dryer, so everyone is waiting patiently in queue. I don't think I brought enough clean cloths to last the whole tour, so this is quite the windfall.

Looking forward to a good show. Kai from Eluveitie is here running some of the merch from here on out, and I believe some other members of Eluveitie will be here later to watch the gig.

Backstage Beer Info:
Pratteln:
Gralsburg Export

See you all tonight
~RedRum

Lyon

Ahh, Southern France, why are you so beautiful? Lyon is a happening little city. Apparently there are something on the order of 25 colleges here. Staggering. The college area reminds me a lot of the school I went to, Rutgers University in Jersey. Alestorm (minus Dani) and I meandered across one of the rivers here to the more affluent area of the city, saw a couple nice cathedrals, almost made it to some badass castley looking structure, but had to take the metro back to the venue in time for Swashbuckle's soundcheck. I had some delicious chocolate tasting thing from a little pastry shop enroute.

This is a very nice venue as well. Although the net connection has been shotty at best. I'm lucky I had an opportunity to fire this post off. Pretty crap beer, but then I suppose France isn't necessarily known for its skills in that arena. Perhaps I should have tried to find some wine...

Backstage Beer Info:
Lyon:
Biere Blonde de Luxe

~RedRum

Paris and Magic Merlin's Birthday

Happy birthday to our mystical drum tech, Merlin (of Eluveitie fame). Hope all your dirty dirty Swiss birthday wishes come true, my friend. The man materializes from a mist of sorts, effortlessly constructs the kit to each drummer's specifications from memory and then tirelessly stands guard should a high-hat clutch fail or a stick disengage from hand. His consistency is something all should strive for. Can't wait to be on tour with him again next year alongside Eluveitie...

Paris packed some surprises for us. The venue we performed in is next door (quite literally) to the most famous cabaret in the world, The Moulin Rogue. Because of this, we were forbidden from sound checking, or making any noise of significance until after the show next door was through at 8pm. Then we subjected the Parisians to our unique brand of metal. They were clearly prepared. We were expecting a much tamer crowd, but the fuckers loved it. Simply put, the audience was beastly.

Prior to the show I walked, or rather scaled, the Montmarte area with Crashride and our sound engineer Stijn. Here, at the highest point in Paris, sits the Basilique du Sacré-Cœur, and what a grand cathedral it is. As we entered, Crashride, in a completely honest display of piety, muttered: "Should we take off our PAGANFEST tour passes?". I laughed. Then we went in.

Because it is the highest point in Paris, from it's steps, you get a grand view of the entire city and can pick out such landmarks as Notre Dame, The Eiffel Tower, and Les Invalides. It was at this point, as I gazed across the Paris skyline, that I smiled and pondered the thought that my droll little pirate band has taken me this far. It's funny how things work out. We probably won't have a better cityscape for the rest of the tour. It felt like we were in The Da Vinci Code. Both the movie, and the novel by Dan Brown.

Next time we're in Paris I will be sure to get down to the Louvre. I'm ashamed for not giving myself the opportunity to see the works from, among others, the masters of High Renaissance.

Oh well, we'll be back.

Backstage Beer Info:
Paris:
Kronenbourg

Since the only French I know is from those old Muzzy language learning commercials and Frasier episodes and a good Frasier quote escapes me, I'll leave you with this:

Je suis une jeune fille
~RedRum

Antwerpen

Belgium, you fuckers brew kick ass beer. Some wonderful fans brought us a case of Piraat, a delicious 10.5% alcohol content ale, which I'm still enjoying while typing this post. To put the proverbial icing on the cake, I am also eating a prepackaged Belgium waffle snack. It's a beautiful thing.

So this was the second of three extended shows and I'm rather saddened that I have to wait a whole week to see Moonsorrow again. They put on another great show tonight and will be missed during the rest of this tour, save the remaining extended date in Stuttgart.

Paris tomorrow.

Backstage Beer Info:
Antwerpen:
Karlsquell Pils

w00t!
~RedRum

Dortmund and Erfurt

Insane catering tonight in Dortmund. Look at all those options! God I love the way the Euro's do metal shows. Tonight was the first extended show in which Einherjer and Moonsorrow were added to the lineup. It was great to finally see Einherjer. I had heard many good things about their live show and they did not dissapoint. Moonsorrow had a 45 minute set and I am pleased to report they played only two songs. A 30 minute song, and a 15 minute song. Gotta love 'em. Its been too long. Their epicness eclipses the rest of the bands on this tour by leaps and bounds. Its a bummer that we only get to share a stage two more times with these guys.

Chris from Alestorm went to the hospital this morning complaining of stabbing pain behind his eyes. He came back in time to play the show, but had to borrow my sun glasses because his pupils had been dilated. Afterward, some chick and her boyfriend tried stealing them. Thankfully, Chris, in his half-drunken state, remembered that they were in fact mine and rectified the situation. People, get your own sunglasses. You do not need ours.

Can't wait for Belgium tomorrow for awesome beer and another extended show.

Backstage Beer Info:
Dortmund:
Brinkhoff's No. 1 Premium Pilsner
(Note: There is nothing Premium or No. 1 about it.)

Backstage Beer Info:
Erfurt:
Braugold Spezial Pilsner

Cheers all
~RedRum

Frankfurt

Its Gaz's birthday today. He is fucking GONE at the moment. I think he's drank everything we've put in front of him. Excellent.

I regretfully did not get to check out the surrounding area today near the venue, but I have been to Frankfurt before on our journey a few months back to Wacken, so I know it is a bit of a bore. This notwithstanding, it is my pleasure to tell you, Frankfurt, that you might be the craziest crowd we've seen yet on this tour. While this venue is fairly small, it is blessed with a certain charm that I can't quite pin down. Although the show was sold out, people came to hang around outside in a large outdoor patio type thing, knowing that they couldn't get in. I don't think you'd see that in the States for a show like this at a relatively small venue. Pretty cool.

Nobeard is getting over a bad head cold. Crashride has just fallen victim to it, I believe. I fear I may be next. I am fighting off this internal bilogical attack by means of awesome local pizza. Who would have thought there to be good pizza in, of all places, Frankfurt?

So we're in Germany for a couple more days then we'll hit up Belgium, hopefully for tasty chocolate.

Backstage Beer Info:
Frankfurt:
Binding Export

~RedRum

Haarlem

This country to chalk full of beautiful architecture. That is Saint Bavokerk Cathedral in Haarlem's town square. I wish I could immerse myself more in cities like this. Call me a nerd, but I'm instantly reminded of the Zelda game franchise and the land of Hyrule. Fuck these ancient market town's rule.

This has been a great show overall. I was getting a very good vibe right off the bat when I woke up and realized that the bus was parked inside some sort of structure. The venue (Patronaat) actually has a garage in the rear so that two tour buses can park a secure zone. What a novel idea. Normally our buses are parking in shady back alleys or fifteen minutes away from the venue, so this is great.

The club itself is very nice and Dutch people in general seem to be incredibly friendly. They collectively, as a nation, ride bikes. Apparently bike riders get the right of way even over cars here. Leave it to the freaky deaky Dutch. Ian, Gaz, and I walked around the town square a bit and saw the sites. I have noticed that The Netherlands, at least this area, is big on toy stores. I counted four within the few blocks we walked. This impresses me. I am equally impressed with the selection of Lego products contained within said stores. Let me take this opportunity to say "fuck you" to all of the Lego haters out there. Real men play with plastic bricks.

I was almost dragooned into going to Hamburg's red light district last night. I went to McDonald's and had a Big Tasty Bacon instead. In retrospect, I probably should have gone for the debauchery. Alestorm came back with slippers with little stuffed penises on them. I'm not sure any sandwich can compete with that. Well, maybe Wendy's Baconator...

Backstage Beer Info:
Haarlem:
Dommelsch Pilsner

Cheers
~RedRum

Hamburg

Hamburg, you have the most ridiculous Starbucks in Europe. Nay: the world. I'm told this historical building that has been raped by this international corporation used to be a Burger King. I think Burger King was more fitting. Much more suited to royal nobility. Perhaps the hierarchical leaders couldn't pay the rent. Zing.

Walked around downtown Hamburg with Nobeard, Ian and Gaz from Alestorm searching for some sort of guitar shop. We found none. However, we did find plenty of fashion outlets catering to women of fanciful high class taste. Coincidentally, on the other side of town we found many sex shops eagerly willing to draw us in with their private video booths and dildos a plenty. We begrudgingly turned down their invites and headed back to the venue.

'Twas a sold out show tonight. We're a bit beside ourselves as our tour date shirt has already sold out and the replacements will not arrive for another two days. This misfortune aside, it's a great sign. w00t.

There are rumors of us coming back to Europe before our confirmed stint at the end of December with Dark Tranquility and Heaven Shall Burn, but I can't go into any further detail yet...

Backstage Beer Info:
Hamburg:
Grenzquell Pilsner

Nürnberg

Pissed I slept in late. Crashride along with the lads in Alestorm went into the city to check out the awesome medieval castle type stuff. I'm fairly bummed out that I missed out on that quest.

Finally caught most of Unleashed's set. Those guys are crazy heavy and crazy awesome to be around. Great dudes.

I also caught most of Korpiklaani's set, along with my favorite song Pine Woods. That tune will ALWAYS put a smile on my face.

Onward to Hamburg.

Backstage Beer Info:
Nürnberg:
Hirsch Premium
Becks Gold

Catching up

So we have reached Berlin in our first journey across Europe. This venue provides me with adequate net service to be able to update this efficiently. We had such poor wireless connection during the first show in Munich and no service available yesterday in Leipzig, but we are making due. And by "we", I mean me, because the rest of my band is caught in the stone age and are without computers. And by "stone age", I mean they get women while I hobble off to feed my nerd urge. And by "they get women", I mean none of them really get women.

I've got three days to catch up on here. Hopefully this won't be a recurring trend.

Right off the bat, we started this venture with a fucking overcomplicated flight itinerary to get to Munich. We flew from Newark airport in New Jersey to Dulles airport in Washington D.C. at 6am. This meant getting up and driving to the airport at 3am. We where then subjected to a 10 hour layover before our flight that evening to Munich. Boredom set in quickly, and anyone who has been to Dulles knows, there's not a whole lot to do besides ride those ridiculous shuttle/monster truck school bus/AT-AT Walker things between terminals. So that's what we did.

When we arrived in Munich we met up with Maurizio and the rest of Ex-Deo and shuttled to our nearby hotel. We spent the better part of the day recuperating from our flights and then drinking in the hotel's bar area. Crashride made friends with a drunkard who looked a hell of a lot like Rob Halford. He bought us a bottle of red wine and then we got him kicked out for being trashed. Boarded the tour bus the next morning and set a course for the first venue.

The kick off show was arguably the most important. Representitives from our record label where there and we of course wished to make a good impression. Show went great. The crew is spectacular at what they do. The professionalism that is exhibited shits on what was seen in the American Paganfest. Merlin from Eluveitie is our drum tech and he has got to be the most devoted person I have ever seen to his or her craft.

The tour bus is interesting, it is a double decker with coach seats and tables downstairs and 22 bunks upstairs. I was told by people working the American Paganfest that they would be worse to sleep in that then buses in the States, but surprisingly, the beds here are larger and more comfortable.

The catering has been incredible. In the States we would be handed money and we'd be on our own to find nourishment. Here, we are welcomed with a wonderful spread of food, practically anything you could want is at hand.

Anyway, the show in Leipzig was great. Really good crowd. Interestingly though, the venue is surrounded by abandonned warehouses and factories. I did a bit of exploring with my camera.

Today in Berlin we woke up fairly early and went into the downtown area of the city with Alestorm to check out the culture and such. We saw some left over parts of the Berlin Wall and the Brandenburg Gate. I'm looking forward to hopefully seeing more landmarks and such along the way.

I know the backstage beer info was a staple of my posts in the past. I haven't forgot about it, but I need to do a little research on what they were for the first couple days and get back to you...

But for now:

Backstage Beer Info:
Berlin:
Berliner Kindl Tubilaums Pilsener

~RedRum

Orange Fanta in Europe is better than Orange Fanta in America

4 hellish Economy class flights later, we have returned to the US from our Wacken experience. I can honestly say, with no reservations, that during those three magical days, that festival is the best place to be on Earth. The Medieval stage (the one we played) & marketplace alone were worth the trip. It kicked the ever loving shit out of any renaissance fair I've ever attended. I was impressed the most by this metal mecca's own brand of beer! Amazing.

Wait no, what impressed me most is the sheer size. There's nothing quite like driving over a hill, the tree line clearing, and seeing an endless sea of camping tents that 80,000+ people call home for three days.

We had a slight hiccup in Hamburg as none of our checked baggage arrived with us. After waiting around for the next two consecutive flights from Frankfurt to collect our missing pieces we made waves for the Courtyard Marriot. To our surprise our booking company got each of us in the band his own room. Score. Then, as we casually awaited our shuttle to the festival grounds, we realized our hotel was a haven for pretty much every kickass band playing Wacken. Under the same roof was the likes of In Flames, Turisas, Destruction, Saxon, and Whiplash. And thats only who we saw come and go within a window of 30 minutes.

The set went off without a hitch. Our shark and parrot came out during Cruise Ship Terror to suply beer to the crowd via Supersoaker and Garden Sprayer, who undoubtedly appretiated it. Thanks for the kickass reception everyone. Biggest wave of death and circle pits I've ever seen at one of our shows. We respect the shit out of all of you. We also respect the shit out of your far superior Orange Fanta soda. Don't get me wrong, Orange Fanta in the states is "okay", but certainly lacks the magical essence found within your elixir. I brought three bottles home with me.

We stayed one night in Hamburg and then another night in Frankfurt. There was a police convention going on at the hotel we stayed at in Frankfurt. Your cops look like our guido "bro's". Whats going on with that Germany?

For those interested I believe the setlist went something like this:

Hoist the Mainsail (Intro)
Scurvy Back
Back to the Noose
No Prey No Pay
Drink Up
Splash-n-Thrash
Cruise Ship Terror
Peg Leg Stomp
Walk the Plank
Rounds of Rum
Upon the Spanish Main
Crewed by the Damned
The Grog Box
Dead Men Tell No Lies
Attack!!!
We Sunk Your Battleship
Whirlpit
IT CAME FROM THE DEEP!
"X" Marks the Spot
Nautical Nonsense

Encore:
Jolly Roger

Wacken

So a last minute bit of luck gained us a prime spot on this years Wacken Open Air! We're playing Friday at 8pm on one of the larger stages. Details are still filtering in, but I have to say I'm fucking stoked to get back to Europe, and for the mightiest metal festival of all!

I remember the night, 5 years ago, when Swashbuckle was formed, in a seedy galley in Jersey. And now, to be able to share it with the masses, and fucking play Wacken is simply an amazing feeling.

See you at the fest!
~RedRum

Fuck

I am just now realizing that I neglected to make a post of my travels in Europe. Zoops!

From what I can recall, the flight to Munich was quite average. From LA is was about 11 hours. Not half bad. I've flown to Japan before several times and that flight is around 14 or so, so anything under that is cake. However, I was squashed next to the Admiral for the whole trip, and this did not bode well with me. He is a large man. Upon landing, we were met by our companions Magnum P.I.rate (who did a bulk of the auxiliary percussion on our upcoming album) and Cabinboy Arsewhipe (our short lived keyboardist). We also met up with our driver Marc Raner with the tour company Vans for Bands, who turned out to be the coolest dude ever. After a debacle with too small a vehicle (somebody didn't get the memo that we were traveling with all our gear coming off the Paganfest North America tour) so we had to wait around for another driver to arrive and made arrangement for our friends to stay at a hotel by the airport with some of our gear to await for her. The pirates three, most of our shit, and Marc started out trek to Switzerland.

We arrived in the middle of the night to our tiny ass hotel in the same town the festival was going on in. The euro's really know how to condense space, not as much as the Japanese, but they still cram the fuck out of everything. We woke up, got to the Metal Dayz festival and we're the first band on the main stage. We were a bit apprehensive as to how the Swiss, and Europeans in general would accept us, but it was ridiculously positive. I think they called for something like 5 or 6 wall of deaths throughout our set. Circle pits were all over the place. It ruled. So worth the trip. Unfortunately, our friends missed our set by about an hour, but we still got them in and enjoyed the rest of the festival. We had a brief signing session after we played. A major highlight for me was Textures. I've been into that band ever since their first album came out, and they did not dissapoint. Kick ass guys as well. Slightly after our return to the states, I learned that they had just signed with Nuclear Blast, so it's an honor and a pleasure to share a label with them. We dipped out of the fest during Sodom I believe, and missed Arch Enemy, knowing that we'd have 2 more chances to see them because they were also playing the same two more fests with us that weekend. Stayed the night again in our little hotel room, this time with Magnum P.I.rate and the Cabinboy on the floor. Tight quarters. But we managed.

The next day we had about a 7 hour drive to north east Germany, the town of Dessau for the Legacy festival. We saw castles! REAL castles! When we got there we were pleasantly greated by the likes of our friends in Alestorm. Ran in Merlin from Eluveitie as well. Hadn't seen him in forever. That guy is magical. Anyway, hung around backstage for a bit and then played in the middle of the day. Not as good as a reception as in Switzerland, but still largely positive. We had a signing session again after we finished up which went very well. Nuclear blast reps really took care of us this fest. Apparently, lots of split demos were given away with us and Ex Deo on it, and they had huge Swashbuckle posters of our album artwork to give away. This was a big deal for me, I've had Nuclear Blast band posters up in my room back home forever (most notably Blind Guardian and In Flames ;)), and to see my bands poster with the little Nuclear Blast logo at the bottom just made me feel all sorts of happy. Eluveitie took the stage during the signing session, and then the heavens opened up and it began to downpour. Most of the crowd ran back to the campgrounds and we all just huddled within the Nuclear Blast tent. Good times. After the weather clamed down, I walked around the festival shops with Dani from Alestorm taking it all in. We have nothing like these festivals in the states. It was simply amazing. We stayed in another small hotel, although not AS small, which was coincidentally the same hotel Alestorm were staying in. Those guys all rule and I can't wait to get back and tour Europe with them in September.

It was another long drive to the final festival in Austria. On the way Christina, our other driver, informed us that we were playing AT a real castle. Fucking awesome. This was probably the biggest fest of the three. Something like 7500 people+. We showed up, and found out that we were headlining the small stage, were on after Arch Enemy, and had to play for an hour. What a way to finish off the night. We don't even have an hour of written thrash material I think. We met with some other Nuclear Blast people, had another good signing session with people who already knew us, Alestorm was there again, we signed the bassist's ass. (Man that kids got a white ass.) We drew dicks on him. lolz. Afterwhich, we had a photosession with some well known photographer chick inside the castle. She did good work.

We threw together an acceptable setlist of all our songs, took the stage, and thrashed peoples' faces off. Packed our shit up, drove back to Munich to catch our flight, got ass raped on overage charges at the baggage dropoff ($2000+ to ship it all back when somehow we payed NOTHING to get it there, go figure), had a stop over flight in Zurich, the Admiral almost beat up some guy who asked him the score of some Mets game, then had a 9 hour flight back to Philly, thankfully not right next to the Admiral. All in all, an intense trip that really showed us just how awesome Europe is. I'm amazed at how it's legal to drink alchohol anywhere, even in a moving car. Can't wait to get back.

~RedRum

Return

Well, its all over and I'm back at home in the Garden State trying to acclimate myself to "normal" life. Lots of laundry, lots of mail to catch up on. Give me a moment to breathe and I'll summarize the absurdly awesomeness that was Europe in a day or two.

Cheers
~RedRum

Ultra Mega Mondo Post

Bear with me as I try and recollect the past 48 hours. Hollywood was a bordering on life changing experience. All because of In-N-Out Burger. I woke up in LA to an empty bus. Guess I slept in way later than the rest of the guys and felt rather "ditched", because I knew they were all out livin' it up on "the strip".

But, as chance would have it, I ran into our merch guy Nick lurking outside the club and convinced him to walk down Sunset to the nearest In-N-Out Burger. As we meandered down the bustling byway, he prepared me for the glory that was to come.

"Let me prep you for what's about to go down." Nick said.
"Uhh, okay?" I quipped, unaware of the knowledge that was about to be dropped.
"You're gonna walk in there, and its gonna be crowded as fuck. But trust me, you'll be glad you waited. You're gonna order a Double-Double, and you're gonna love it. The fries are meh, don't bother. They're all about the fresh never frozen meat from California only cows. They DON'T fuck around." he touted.
"Fuuuck." - It was all I had.

On the way he pointed out numerous locations of minor fame. Some restaurant that was on VH1's Rock of Love, the Hollywood Guitar Center, Sam Ash, Mesa Boogie store, etc.

We arrived at In-N-Out and it was everything I dreamed it could have been. Phenominal. I apparetiate their simple menu approach and their deep food trays. This creates a perfect environment for catching those loose fries. Yea, I ordered them. In hindsight, I should listened to Nick.

We stopped in the Guitar Center on the way back. Had fun checking out the famous musician hand prints in the vestibule area. Ozzy Osbourne's hands are small as fuck, and Ronnie James Dio imprinted his hands while throwing up the horns. As far as the store goes, it was pretty run-of-the-mill. Same overpriced designer gear.

Got back to the venue for load in, sound checked, then meet up with my good friend Adam who attends film school out in Orange, CA. A bunch of people of Nuclear Blast Records came out to meet us for the first time, as well as our booking agent. All cool as hell.

The show was good. To be honest it was just amazing to play the House of Blues. Fuck.

Afterwards, all the bands ended up at the Rainbow Room. We showed up and who should be there but the Hedgehog himself, Ron Jeremy. He was partying it up with who Adam pointed out as the girls from the HBO show called The Cathouse. Lots of people where bothering him for pics and such, so we left him be, until he was on his way out. Then I snapped a shot of him and Jerry from Primordial and just met him. Nice dude. Kinda limp handshake, but I'll let it slide. Cause he's Ron fucking Jeremy.

I think it was the only night on the whole tour where everyone from all the bands went out to drink together. Good times. Irreplaceable memories.

The San Marcos show was kind of a crapshoot. In some respects, the tour ended in Hollywood. Most of the other bands agree that the tour should have ended that Sunday in Hollywood. The club in San Marcos was a tiny 300 capacity bar. When we arrived we were told it was an all ages event only until 10pm. So we had to push the whole tour package early so that all the kids would get to see Korpiklaani. So we did. And we played to my friend Adam (again) and Gordy (another old friend from school), the Moonsorrow guys, half of Primordial, and half of Korpiklaani. Do you know what its like to be on the bill, and play for 15 minutes, and the only people there are the other band's and their girlfriends? Then you realize there's a million of these Jimmie Wing bone-smugglers. These guys are running the industry, and they don't know a DAMN thing about rock 'n roll!

So yea. THEN, turns out the venue was never all ages at all. So all the underage people who came out (probably about 60% or more of the ticket sales) literally watched from the back doors and windows of the bar. They really got the shaft. So not only did they get screwed, but so did all the bands by forcing everyone to play earlier than normal for apparently no reason. Total dipshit promoter. I can almost guarantee you that Paganfest, or any other killer Euro band for that matter, will never be there again.

The good news is, I had Jack in the Box for breakfast, Taco Bell for lunch with my friends, and then Jack in the Box again for dinner. Reminds me of the date in Mokena where I had Denny's for breakfast, White Castle for lunch, and then Denny's again for dinner. I have notcied that the "fast" aspect of fast food in places outside New Jersey, but in particular California, to be less than accurate. Perhaps I'm being overly critical (I probably am), but it just seems that fast food gets into my hands so much quicker in Jersey. On the plus side, the "food" aspect of fast food is still accurate.

Following the completion of the final Paganfest date, all the bands hung around in the back of the venue playing some form of rudimentary football (aka soccer) and/or American football (aka football). Long goodbyes were said. I know we will cross paths with Korpiklaani sooner rather than later as we'll be supporting them again on the Paganfest II euro tour in September, but I'm not sure when we'll have the pleasure of seeing our boys and gal in Blackguard, or Primoridal, or Moonsorrow again. We boarded our seperate buses, and were off to LAX, where I still sit awaiting my flight to Munich. Lets see what you've got Europe.

Backstage Beer Info:
Hollywood:
Budweiser

San Marcos:
Budweiser (fml)

~RedRum

Reminds me of Rice a Roni

Hands down, best day of the tour. I woke up this morning around 7am and took in the amazing scenery on the way from Portland to San Francisco. We stopped for gas in the town of Weed, CA. I found that amusing. As did the Finns. Went back to sleep for another 4 hours and woke up due to ridiculous heat. Apparently, our AC units on the bus had been pushing themselves so much that the condensers froze over. This created sauna-like conditions. When I walked into the front lounge, everyone was either wearing no shirt, or no pants. But not no shirt AND no pants. Lawlz.

I went out to dinner with my aunt who lives out here. She is the youngest aunt that I have, and clearly the coolest. We went to a famous microbrewery here in San Francisco called Gordon Beirsch. If you ever find yourself in San Francisco, I recommend every beer they have. But in particular, the Hefeweizen.

Got back to the venue with just enough time to get into my pirate garb and rock out with one of the best crowds on the tour. Thanks everyone, you guys ruled.

Caught Blackguard's set, then went back out with my aunt to some uptown restaurant for some more drinks and same tasty nachos. Was back in time to see Korpiklaani start their set. I had to be there for "Pine Woods". Fucking love that song. I think the greatest thing I'm getting out of this tour is being able to see them play every night. Their sound is so organic and raw. And they just know how to have fucking fun and make the audience have fun at the same time. Simply rollicking.

Backstage Beer Info:
San Francisco:
Heineken
Pabst Blue Ribbon

Chicken Pox and Pimples

Portland, Portland, Portland. I'm on the fence about you. You had amazing Mexican food and cool ass stores. But you could have shown a little more love for the retarded pirates...

I found a store that sold stuffed giant microbes which are basically exaggerated plush cells. I bought Chicken Pox and the bacteria that causes acne. Completely useless I know, but I couldn't resist. Seriously though, I had what was probably the greatest burrito in my life tonight. Fuck it was good. I wish I was eating it right now.

Another cool feature of Portland, nay Oregon in general - no sales tax. Brilliant.

Backstage Beer Info:
Portland:
Miller High Life
Corona

How 'bout those SuperSonics?

Today was a good day for fooding. Breakfast was had at a Thai/Chinese restaurant made up of a bunch of old train cars. I'm not sure what the connection was between train cars and Chinese food, but it was some of the best General Tso's chicken I've ever had.

Finally some good catering at the venue here in Seattle as well. Had me some killer homemade spaghetti & meatballs.

Juho from Korp and I had an interesting conversation regarding the state of metal music from Finnland, which culminated in our mutual belief that, although we'd like it to, Wintersun's new album will probably NOT live up to the hype and expectations that have been built around it. Our hesitations grow as the album delays keep flooding in. But who knows, maybe Jari and company have something special up their sleeves. Don't get me wrong, I'd love for it to be as groundbreaking as the first record was. I guess only time will tell. Har har.

Backstage Beer Info:
Seattle:
Corona Extra
Heineken

The coolest Canadian city?

So Vancouver surprised the fuck out of us. Cool city with lots to see, very nice venue, and the crowd was bitchin'. I have come to realize, the thing I love about Canada is that there are A&W's everywhere. The closest A&W at home was almost an hour away. Then it closed down, and the next closest A&W is in Newark airport nearly two hours away. Fuck my life.

But our neighbor to the north has repeatedly given the gift of easy access A&W. And for that, I thank you Canada.

Had border check to get back into the states earlier this morning. We crossed into Canada twice, and into the US twice on this tour, and NONE of the border check procedures where at all the same. I can understand the protocol at the US to differ from that of the Canadian stops, but come on, the US border checks can't get their shit together?

But I digress. Vancouver was a great show in probably the nicest venue on this tour. 5 days left though, so we'll see. We're in Seattle now. Everything I know about Seattle I pieced together from watching Frasier. Yea, I like Frasier. Fuck off.

Backstage Beer Info:
Vancouver:
Sleeman Honey Lager
Molson

High Fives & Plank Dives in Calgary

Killer show this evening. Korpiklaani has been here before, and it was a huge draw. For some reason tonight felt like the most fun of the whole tour thus far. Captain Crashride was stage diving all night long. Even the jovial Admiral Nobeard got in on the action during "Happy Little Boozer." I've never seen a more terrified front row of crowd goers when he readied to jump. Hopefully there will be video of this momentous event on YouTube soon.

I walked to a local supermarket for supplies. Calgary is a nice town. At least, this area of it is. The show was put on in a ballroom inside a student center at the University of Calgary. The feel of the campus reminded of my alma mater Rutgers. Although, I suppose most colleges are probably similar.

I was so wrong the other night when I spoke of that 14 hour drive. I don't remember how long it was, but it was no where close to 14 hours. Tonight, on the other hand, is long. 12 hours I'm told. Early bus call. See everyone in Vancouver.

Backstage Beer Info:
Calgary:
Molson

Edmonton

This has been a good day in Edmonton. Very good crowd, definitely top 3 thus far. I was exploring the city earlier with Korp's sound guy. We came across an underground mall with exceptional restroom facilities. He was hanging around the food court whilst I took advantage. Upon my return, he showed me a periodical which he found on a table, some sort of local arts document which by complete happenstance advertised an article on Swashbuckle across the front cover. Not only this, but we were above a headline regarding the Swine Flu. Apparently, in Edmonton, we are more important than Swine Flu.

Moving on - I caught an amazing deal on eBay for a top of the line wireless system for my rig. Being anchored by an instrument cable is becomming a serious hinderance. Looking forward to fooling around with that when I get home.

After our set I was hanging out backstage watching Blackguard, as I so often have been doing. Cane (guitarist of Korpiklaani) approached me and told me people outside had asked him if he was the guitarist of Swashbuckle. For some reason, this filled my heart with a warm fuzzy fealing.

Admiral Nobeard is doing the lights tonight for all the bands besides us. How fuckin' wacky is that?

Backstage Beer Info:
Edmonton:
Old Style Pilsner

Even longer drive tonight to Calgary. 14+ hours.

Cheers
~RedRum

Regina = Beer Pwnage

Finally, a venue that adheres rationally to the logic of a beer drinker. Instead of getting a case of one beer this evening and subjecting myself to certain monotony, I was able to get procure that which I wished from the bar. This being said, I went ahead and sampled those which I had yet to sup. Tasting unkown beer is a wonderful experience.

Also,there is an old Hammond organ from the 70's with built in rhythm loops and auto-chords backstage that Korpiklaani and we were fooling around with. Built in waltz beats + Finns = crazy fun.

Backstage Beer Info:
Regina:
Lucky Lager
Kokanee Glacier Beer
Alexander Keith's India Pale Ale
Big Rock GrassHopper
Big Rock Honey Brown Lager
Big Rock Traditional Ale
Old Style Pilsner















10 hour drive tonight to Edmonton.

Cheers
~RedRum

Laundry

No bus internet, no venue internet. I have been reduced to free laundromat wifi. Coincidentally, this also gives us a chance to launder our piratical and non-piratical unmentionables. Winnipeg appears to be a cool town. There is a really interesting vintage t-shirt/cd/rock-n-roll paraphernalia store down the street from the venue, possibly the biggest I've yet encountered.

Apparently Testament is playing tonight in one of the city's larger venues. This could quite possibly spell disaster for our quaint Paganfest. To tell you the truth, I'd rather go to Testament myself. Lawlz.

I'm in Budweiser hell

I have given a name to my pain, and it is 'Budweiser'. I take solace in the fact that we will be in Canada for the next 5 days; away from the monotony that is Budweiser beer. I actually do like Budweiser, just every night for a week. Will be good to change it up, hopefully with some good Canadian beer I have yet to try.

St. Paul fucking owned. Thank you everyone who came out and raged with us, you guys kick ass and were definitely the best city on tour thus far.

Take a fucking guess as to what today's backstage beer was.

St. Paul:
Budweiser

Denny's x2

I had two meals at Denny's yesterday, and in between them I managed to squeeze in a meal at White Castle. During the second Denny's visit we were accompanied by the gents in Primordial. As the food arrived at the table they were shocked and appalled by how primarily yellow the food was. I have never really thought about it, but its true. Pretty much everything you can order at Denny's is yellow. I guess in America we are so desensitized to overly fried foods that we just don't even think twice. America. Fuck yea.

Powerfest was cool. The venue, the Pearl Room, was beautiful. I am told it was just recently built and it's still in prime condition.

As I sit here in the back lounge before the show in St. Paul it occurs to me that I have to update the backstage beer info, but the dates are beginning to become hazy as I try to recall details such as this. I am now 3 dates behind, and although this is no one's fault but my own, I'd still feel better assigning blame to someone else. Let's just say this is Captain Crashride's fault for buying me too many Jagerbombs.

Backstage Beer Info:
Cleveland:
Budweiser

Covington:
Vexed on this one, but probably: Budweiser

Mokena:
Miller Genuine Draft
Budweiser

This is the last US date for awhile, then we're back in Canada living it up in the North with no bus internet. Fuck my life.

There's rumor in the air of the Winnipeg show show being canceled. If this is the case, it will be a very welcomed day off. But we'll see. It would be a shame, the Canadian shows have been exponentially better and to top it off, its a Saturday show.

~RedRum

Rum

Long night of chucking bags of puke out the back of the bus's back lounge window. Bless the man who created heavy duty garbage bags. For those of you who don't think the Admiral knows how to party, I suggest you buy him a shot of rum. Then buy him 15-25 more. Then buy him a heavy duty garbage bag.

Currently on the way to the "Chicago" Powerfest which, coincidentally, is not in Chicago. Apparently contained within the venue's parking lot is a White Castle, a Denny's, a Wendy's, and a "bangin' pizza place". I'm looking forward to options.

Suns coming up. Time to retire.

~RedRum

Kentucky

My grandfather on my fathers side passed away this morning. R.I.P. Walt Greczyn. He was one of the most straightforward men I have ever known and will be missed. I have been somewhat in my cup all day because I will not be able to attend the ceremony due to Paganfest. But the show must go on.

On the brighter side, I had authentic Kentucky fried chicken for lunch. Not at a KFC, at a legitimate proprietor of fried foods.

It will be another small show tonight, I believe. But this is a welcomed break from the monster venues we were playing where the crowd is a bajillion (yea, I went there) miles away behind a lame barricade. Fuck barricades. Kills the intimacy. And we all know, intimacy is the fuckin' shit.

Word on the street is Eric W. Brown of ex-Destroy Destroy Destroy/Inferi fame is coming out tonight. Looking forward to nerding it up with his ilk.

Hazzah
~RedRum

Springfield, New York City, and Cleveland

Been slacking here. I'm quoting Tycho from Penny Arcade when I state "I've been colonized by some invasive organism, origin unknown, and I can feel it breeding and pooling in my substructure." Sinus pressure abounds on this bus. The Finns are heavy smokers and while I don't necessarily curse them for it, it is somewhat inhibiting.

I was joined by two close friends from Jersey at the Jaxx show in Springfield, VA This made for a good evening.

Many familiars came to the New York City date last night. Worthy of brief mention was Lou who appears are the ship captain in our upcoming video "Cruise Ship Terror" and the head of our old label Bald Freak Music, Ron "Q*Ball" Scalzo. Always a pleasure to be in the city, there's always good pizza around every corner.

Tonight we're in Cleveland at a little place called Peabody's. The bus is parked across from a large building with the words "Wolstein Center" adorned on its facade. I think it would be funnier if it said "Wolfenstein Center", and if you entered, it was just like starting one of the Wolfenstein games. Har har har.

See you all at the show.
~RedRum

Backstage Beer Info:
Springfield:
Budweiser

New York City:
Budweiser

Friendly Faces In Fucked Up Places

Allentown was refreshing. Close to home so many family and friends came out. Notably, my friend Aki. We used to be in a band together and we often shared common dreams to "make it" in the music industry. I went on to dress up like a pirate and thrash on a major metal label. He went on to get a full ride at Harvard Med. Guess it worked out for both of us.

The show was less than spectacular, especially for a Saturday night. However, the venue had many redeeming qualities. There is a pizzeria attached to the club and the owner always takes a picture with whatever bands are playing wherein, they are eating his pizza. So, free pizza. Score. And on top of this, they supplied us backstage with Yuengling. A treat I fear may not be as frequent during the remainder of the tour.

Tomorrow we play the Jaxx.

Backstage Beer Info:
Allentown:
Yuengling

~RedRum

Woosta

First US date on the tour. The Palladium. Pumped because we had our boys Diamond David Davidson and Filthy Phil of the Boston Tech/Death band Revocation come backstage with us. The very first Swashbuckle tour was with Revocation so it was a pleasure to see them in good spirits. Had some decent pizza at a spot called Woosta (local pronunciation/slang for "Worcester") Pizza. Caught the opening few songs of Primordial's set. They kick ass live and are so consistent every night, and are great guys to boot. They have deep passion for their musical roots and it really shines in both their performance and their characters.

Onto Allentown @ The Crocodile Rock. I saw the first US Paganfest tour with Ensiferum, Turisas, Eluveitie, and Tyr at the Croc Rock last year. Ahh, the circle is now complete.

Backstage Beer Info:
Worcester:
Budweiser

~RedRum

Hails Quebec!

Fuck me in the face. Quebec just kicked the shit out of Toronto and Montreal combined. Thanks for the awesome welcome guys!

Randomly, I thought it would be a fruitful venutre to provide you, the reader, with a list, a compendium of sorts, of beers we've had thus far backstage on the Paganfest tour. I know this list will be of interest to at least two of you. You know who you are.

Toronto:
Molson
Molson Dry

Montreal:
Belle Gueule

Quebec:
Labatt Bleue
Molson EX
Coors Light

Also, the wireless internet in this venue can kiss my left nut. I spent the better part of an hour wrestling with network settings and proxy servers.

Back to the states we go, looking forward to playing the Palladium. Holds a bit of deeper meaning for me.

Cheers
~RedRum

Montreal and our Music Video

Up in the backstage balcony watching Korpiklaani KILL it at Le Medley in Montreal. I'm multitasking at the moment, trying to enjoy the show and critique the rough edit of our music video we did a few weeks ago for our song "Cruise Ship Terror" with the legendary David Brodsky. He's shot some pretty big names in metal, notably The Black Dhalia Murder, Kataklysm, and Arsis.

To tell you the truth, it doesn't necessitate much more critical discourse other than to say that it fucking kicks ass. Might need a few more shots of me in it ;). But seriously, considering the weather conditions (a chilly downpour), David and his team did an amazing job, as well as the crew of the boat we shot on. (Hope that doesn't give too much away...) We are, without a doubt, looking forward to sharing it with all of you.

Hope everyone in Montrel enjoyed the second round of Paganfest. I sure as fuck enjoyed the crowd as well as the BITCHIN' chicken ceaser salad this venue supplied me with.

Rock on.
~RedRum

Canada

So I suppose this is the first real "tour" post. Currently in the entrance vestibule of The Opera House in Toronto because it seems to be the only place I can get a clear wireless signal. A couple points of interest:

-Sleeping in what is essentially a coffin on a tour bus is, in actuality, not so bad. The rocking motions of the bus are quite relaxing.

-Korpiklaani likes to hang out in their underwear. Brutal.

-I've learned that Captain Crashride really does care about your feelings.

Sounds check, then warm up soon. See you all at the show!

~RedRum

Ahoy ye weary web traveler...

Greetings all, Commodore RedRum here, of the pirate thrash metal band Swashbuckle. I've set up this little tour blog for all you cool cats to check out what's been going on the road with Swashbuckle during the US/Canadian Paganfest II tour, as well as tours we have coming up after. For more immediate gratification, you can all check out our Twitter over at http://twitter.com/SwashbuckleBand

Captain Crashride will be taking the reigns of the twitter, but for those of you who are more polysyllabically inclined and yern for a more indepth perspective, I'm sure you'll find fulfillment in my prose here.

In the process of packing up gear and piratical unmentionables at the moment. Bus picks up us and Korp tomorrow for the first show in Toronto on Tuesday. Looking forward to it, I hear Canadian metal fans love to drink. Lets hope, for their sake, that this is true. The booze-loving forrest clan Korpiklaani + rum loving pirates of 'Buckle = your face getting ripped off.

~RedRum