70,000 Tons of Metal

Hey everybody, I did a guest blog for the mighty Mark Morton over at Examiner.com about the 70,000 Tons of Metal cruise which we recently played/partied/got shit faced on. Check it out!

Cheers!
~RedRum

The Night Before Christmas - A 'BUCKLE RENDITION

Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the hull
Not a creature was stirring, not even the gulls
The nooses were hung from the gallows with care
In hopes that Swashbuckle soon would be there

The crew were nestled all snug in their bunks
While visions of spiced rum got them all drunk
And Nobeard with his parrot, the Bootsmann, and I
Had just toasted our stolen mugs to the sky

When out on the deck there arose such a splatter
We sprang from our quarters to find Santa's brain matter!
The fool had fallen from the top of our sails
Twas then we remembered, that crime never fails!

The moon on the crests of the evening tides
Gave our cursed hearts no fair reason to cry
When, what to our plundering eyes should appear
But a gaggle of strippers, and eight kegs of beer!

With a midget bartender, so short and forlorn
I knew in a moment TWAS DANI FROM ALESTORM!
After thoroughly heckling that small Scottish chap
We took broads in our hands and made haste to the taps!

"Now Miller! Now Budweiser! Now, Guiness and Heineken!
On, Coors! On Corona! Sam Adams and Yuenglin'!
To the back of our throats! To our guts with the booze!
Now pound away! Pound away! Pound away brews!"

As the numbed ladies pranced, off came their clothes
When naked they danced, our packages rose
So back to our cabins we corsairs flew
With these sexy female joys, our loads we blew

And then, with an inkling, we thought to ourselves
What the fuck are we waiting for? LET'S SLAUGHTER SOME ELVES
As I drew my sword, the others their flints
Tiny footsteps were heard, as they started to sprint

They were dressed all in green, from their heads to their feet
And like chefs in the galley, we turned up the heat
A bundle of matches lit them on fire
And as flames rose to their chests, we had to inquire:

"How do you fucks make infinite treasure?!", we demanded
"And how can one soul distribute them single-handed?!"
Their screams fell silent, they started to speak
And the yuletide secrets of Christmas were leaked

"So now you know!", the head elf yelled to us three
"Now spare us our lives, as we had agreed!"
But we burned them alive in our small pots and pans
For we shifty pirates had far better plans...

They were cooked and served to our crew of the damned
Seasoned ever so right, the meal kinda slammed
Elf stew would be prepared every year on that day
The wee men ruing what they came to betray

We spoke not a word, but went straight to our task
Ruining this holiday with empty hearts and full flasks
We ravished Mrs. Claus in all of her holes
As she shamelessly slavered down our North Poles

We sprang back to our ship, tossed her some coin
She had danced hard for those bucks, even savored our loins
As we sailed into the eve, we exclaimed with our might:
"HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO NONE. FUCK YOU. GOOD NIGHT."

~Commodore RedRum
XII XXIV MMX Anno Domini

From the Cuttin' Room Floor

Hey everyone. Check out this collection of out-takes and bloopers I spliced together from a shit ton of old Buckle footage. Enjoy!



Cheers
~RedRum

More Shit!

Here's are a few more links for your perusal:

-We've released the song 'Where Victory is Penned' on our Myspace.

-Check out my guest spot over at the Bald Freak Music Blog, where I detail the themes surrounding our last album 'Back to the Noose'.

-Here's the third 'Crime Always Pays' album trailer:



Cheers
~RedRum

Shameless Self Bump

Alright people, we're getting closer to the release of Swashbuckle's 3rd album 'Crime Always Pays...", which will be out September 10th, 2010 on Nuclear Blast Records. This will coincide with the first day of the Heidenfest Europe tour in Munich, Germany! Here is a bunch of new shit:

Check out the NEW song 'At the Bottom of a Glass' over at our Myspace, here.

Check out ANOTHER new song 'Where Victory is Penned' and play a sweet ass pirate shooting game here.

Check out the first album trailer video:



Check out the second album trailer video:



If you'd like to pre-order the album, you may do so here!

Cheers guys
~RedRum

Welcome to Crying

For those who are into it, check out the review I wrote about the new Blind Guardian record, 'At the Edge of Time' over at Examiner.com.

Seattle, El Corazon

We just had two days off driving from Minneapolis, Minnesota through North Dakota and Montana to get to Seattle, Washington. We stopped in two towns, Dickinson, North Dakota, and Butte, Montana. We tried catching the movie Predators, but no theater in either town was playing it, so we settled for Inception, and what a boatload of fuck it was. Personally, I hated it. I know Chris Nolan is all about those philosophically deep, artsy/twisty movies, but on a day that we in the band just wanted to spend watching aliens blow shit up, it did NOT do the trick.

The stage is set up here at El Corazon (Spanish for "The Corazon") and I'm looking forward to getting back into the groove of playing.

On a side note, somewhere in Germany sits the final master of our new record "Crime Always Pays". Feels good to have it completed.

~RedRum